i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
