Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Randomize