I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
