The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
