I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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