She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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