Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
