I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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