what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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