Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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