i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
