Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
