I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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