The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
She told me I should be a condom model.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
