Everything about him screamed your future.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
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