I showed him my bush... on skype.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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