At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
