She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
