He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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