do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
