You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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