i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
