Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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