I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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