we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
