I just saw a hot homeless man
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
