Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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