My underwear smells like fireworks.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
