I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
