This girl is more easily done than said...
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
