Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
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