yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Randomize
