it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
