well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
