please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
