is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
