Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
