So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
