Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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