i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Still dying that you shit outside
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
