things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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