my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
