He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize