Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
