oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
