Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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