I understand Curling. That high.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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