look no pants
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
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