don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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