That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
