The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
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