so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
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