I hate all girls vehemently.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
