Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
