I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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