All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
