I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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