I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
