Non-Jews are for practice
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
