i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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