it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
